Tag Archives: Romance

Hope, hate, and other four letter words

21 Oct

Love.
It is a joke.  Or so it seems these days.  Just like the idea of communication or trust.

Listen.
You wanted someone to listen.  I gave you that.  I listened to you tell me of the things she says to you.  I listened to you tell me that the spark is gone.  I listened to you tell me that the love is gone.  I listened to you tell me about the empty shell that is your relationship.  I have listened to you men tell me these things, over and over and over again.  Because I am your friend, and that is what a friend does.

But over and over and over again, you stay.  You continue in a relationship with no love and no passion.  You continue in a relationship with a woman who does not care that you have a heart and she is breaking it with her words.  You continue to let your needs and desires and your hearts be walked all over.

You try to fill the void.  You fill it with work, or friends, or booze.  You fill it with hobbies or projects or food.  You fill it with flirtations and conversations that will never amount to anything more than a cheap, quick fix.  Because “that is what men do.”  Because you “don’t want to be a pussy” and fix things.

But guess what?  By trying to fill that void, you are being a pussy.  Your lack of effort to fix your relationship… that has a huge impact on all the things you are trying to fill the void with.  Your work suffers.  Your projects suffer.  The woman you have flirtations with… I can promise you that in some way, they are suffering.  Your friends (and those women, I suppose) are only getting a fraction of a person, and getting that fraction not because you care about them that much, but because they are what you run to by default.  They are your backup.

Be a man.  Face your problems.  When she says something hurtful to you, tell her that it hurts.  If the spark and the passion is gone, try and reignite it.  Think back to the beginning, when it was there.  Those things that sparked the passion in the beginning… make those things happen again.  Remember why you loved her in the first place, and really focus on those things.  And if you can’t, if all else fails and the love is gone, leave.  Stand up for yourself and cut your losses if there is no way to fix it.  Ending a relationship is never easy, but staying in a loveless one is even worse.

It is quite simple: fix it or end it.  If you can’t handle that, though, at least SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.  There are ladies like myself out there that still hope love is possible.  We still hope that a happy, fulfilling relationship is possible and can last a lifetime.  But men like you… you make us doubt ourselves.  You make quick work of fracturing our hopes and dreams of that fairytale.  And if you think about it, your lady already hates you (and woman hate is the worst kind of hate)… do you really want to add any more ladies to that list?