Tag Archives: Love

Hope, hate, and other four letter words

21 Oct

Love.
It is a joke.  Or so it seems these days.  Just like the idea of communication or trust.

Listen.
You wanted someone to listen.  I gave you that.  I listened to you tell me of the things she says to you.  I listened to you tell me that the spark is gone.  I listened to you tell me that the love is gone.  I listened to you tell me about the empty shell that is your relationship.  I have listened to you men tell me these things, over and over and over again.  Because I am your friend, and that is what a friend does.

But over and over and over again, you stay.  You continue in a relationship with no love and no passion.  You continue in a relationship with a woman who does not care that you have a heart and she is breaking it with her words.  You continue to let your needs and desires and your hearts be walked all over.

You try to fill the void.  You fill it with work, or friends, or booze.  You fill it with hobbies or projects or food.  You fill it with flirtations and conversations that will never amount to anything more than a cheap, quick fix.  Because “that is what men do.”  Because you “don’t want to be a pussy” and fix things.

But guess what?  By trying to fill that void, you are being a pussy.  Your lack of effort to fix your relationship… that has a huge impact on all the things you are trying to fill the void with.  Your work suffers.  Your projects suffer.  The woman you have flirtations with… I can promise you that in some way, they are suffering.  Your friends (and those women, I suppose) are only getting a fraction of a person, and getting that fraction not because you care about them that much, but because they are what you run to by default.  They are your backup.

Be a man.  Face your problems.  When she says something hurtful to you, tell her that it hurts.  If the spark and the passion is gone, try and reignite it.  Think back to the beginning, when it was there.  Those things that sparked the passion in the beginning… make those things happen again.  Remember why you loved her in the first place, and really focus on those things.  And if you can’t, if all else fails and the love is gone, leave.  Stand up for yourself and cut your losses if there is no way to fix it.  Ending a relationship is never easy, but staying in a loveless one is even worse.

It is quite simple: fix it or end it.  If you can’t handle that, though, at least SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.  There are ladies like myself out there that still hope love is possible.  We still hope that a happy, fulfilling relationship is possible and can last a lifetime.  But men like you… you make us doubt ourselves.  You make quick work of fracturing our hopes and dreams of that fairytale.  And if you think about it, your lady already hates you (and woman hate is the worst kind of hate)… do you really want to add any more ladies to that list?

For Better, For Worse, For All

22 May

I know that I said I would blog on dating and relationships.  And I will.  And in some ways, this post will discuss those things.

Last night, Minnesotans witnessed a horrendous act.  70 of our legislators, who were elected to represent us, ALL OF US, voted to push forth with a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.  They made it known with their vote that they believe that not all people are equal.  They decided that they get to dictate who’s love is real and who’s love isn’t.  They decided that some of their own constituents are not deserving of the right to express their love in the most sacred legal manner.

We witnessed a bunch of politicians sitting in a room supporting hate and inequality, but failing to as much as voice their reasons for doing so.  For hours, our true leaders, democrats and republicans alike, stood up, impassioned and on fire, giving a voice to love and acceptance and equality.  Outside the chamber, citizens from across the state from all walks of life, from all sexual orientations, gathered.  They raised their voices in support of Rep. Kriesel as he stood up and went against his party and said HELL NO to intolerance.  They sang songs of hope as concerns were raised about how supporting this ban would affect our children now and forever; as concerns were raised about the constitutionality of this amendment.  And still, despite this all, 70 “representatives” showed nothing but cowardice.  They decided that hate is more important than equality.

Well, let me tell you, they were wrong!  As the amendment was passed, as their hate “won”, the voices outside the chamber got louder.  And across the state, voices got louder.  Within seconds, citizens banded together to declare that hate will not prevail in Minnesota.

This will be a long fight, but the battle is nowhere near over.  Hate will not win.  I pledge my blood, sweat, and tears from now until the moment that hate is defeated and all Minnesotans,  have the same rights as I do.  And I ask you to join me.  Get impassioned.  Get loud.  Get out of your seat and fight.  Fight for love.  Fight for equality.  Fight for all the great that is in the world, and all the greatness that has yet to be created.

Join The Fight

Facebook:
#NOH8MN
OutFront Minnesota
Minnesotans United For All Families 
I will Vote No

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@NOH8_MN
@OutFrontMN
@MN4allfamilies