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Proper spelling and sentence structure, bacon, and probable reasons why I am single.

28 Apr

I not so secretly have a profile on OKCupid.  Why not?  I am single and ready to mingle, and it is a free and effortless way to meet new people.  I have met some awesome people who have turned into great friends thanks to OKCupid, but when it comes to date-worthy men, the results have definitely been lacking.  I suppose this is due to the fact that anybody, no matter how sleazy and cheap they are, can sign up.

Admittedly, my profile will make you think of me as either a) a tad bit funny and adorable or b) a pretentious bitch.
Example:
“I am really good at being fabulous. It is true. I will change your world.”
“I could go on and on, but sometimes I get the feeling that this summary thing is just like the flight instructions from the stewardess before takeoff- you are too busy being wrapped up in her good looks to pay much attention.”
“You should message me if:
–you know how to spell and use proper sentence structure
–you like bacon (if you do not, you probably should run)”

The amazing thing is how many messages I get from vegans who cannot spell to save their life.  Also amazing is the number of times I have gotten follow-up messages from men calling me a rude bitch because I will not meet or sleep with a man who cannot spell properly or form a proper sentence.

Oh, and per the vegan animal rights activist who asked me on a date… I am a bitch for turning down his offer for a date simply because he is an animal rights activist and I like bacon.  All along I was just trying to be respectful and let him know I need more meat in me than dating him could provide…

fresh ink

22 Mar

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.

11 Mar

Oscar Wilde was a very smart man.  He always has a way of getting me thinking.

They say that you can’t love others until you love yourself.  There is so much truth to that.

I have spent so much of my life being unhappy with my family, friends, job, looks, weight, financial situation… there has always been something I have been unhappy about.  Recently, though, that has changed.  I have done a 360.  No longer do I look at the world with frustration.  I look at the world with eyes of optimism and thankfulness.  I look at the world through eyes of happiness and appreciation.

I am content.

Sure, there are things that I don’t have yet that I would like.  But the thing is, I have so much more than so many.  I have a family.  I have friends.  I have a job and more money than a lot of the world.  My weight isn’t near ideal, but I can work on that and fix it.  I have flaws, but I can fix them.  And really, the flaws are what give me character; what makes me who I am.

I have come to truly love myself and love life.  And it is now that I find that I could actually be capable of really truly consciously loving others.  I am happy with myself and my place in life.  I am just plain happy.  And it is now that I find that I could actually be capable of being happy in a relationship.

You can’t love others until you love yourself.  You can’t be happy in a relationship with somebody else until you are happy in your relationship with yourself.  Because, ultimately, isn’t a relationship about connecting and forming a life together?  Isn’t it about finding somebody to become one with?  How can you join lives successfully if you aren’t yet whole yourself?  How can you give away a part of yourself without it being damaging when you don’t have all of yourself to begin with?

I Am…

9 Mar

I am.

I am a lover. I love the little things in life.  I love the wind blowing in my hair.  I love the rush of music pulsing through my ears.  I love quiet night spent at home with the dogs in front of the television.  I love crazy nights on the town with friends.  I love vodka and whiskey, sometimes a little too much.  I love sitting on a dock, a beach, or a mountaintop in silence, becoming one with nature.  I love a good movie, and sometimes a bad one too.  I love fresh flowers and owls and brownies.  I love romance.  I love kisses on the cheek and forehead.  I love holding hands.  I love slowdancing.  I love the thrill of something new, but I also love the familiar and comfortable.  I love cooking, and I love eating as well.  I love Jewish men (I think it is the big nose).  I love my sister.  I love traveling.  I love a warm shower, and I love the peaceful feeling of rain on a warm summer day.

I am a fighter. I fight for what is right.  I fight to protect my heart.  I fight for those I care about.  I fight for those who can’t fight for themselves.  I fight when I want something.  I fight when I deserve things, and even when I don’t.  I fight hard and hate admitting defeat.  I fight even when its the hardest thing I have ever done.

I am a dreamer.  I dream of peace in the world.  I dream of finding love one day, but before that happens, I dream of having fun.  I dream of the day when I can curl up on the couch with a wonderful man and know that he is all mine.  I dream of traveling to Greece and of seeing places like Paris and Sydney.  I dream of days without headaches and a United States with Universal Healthcare.  I dream most of all, though, of lifelong happiness.

I am a believer. I believe that everything will be alright.  I believe in karma.  I believe in the importance of family.  I believe in chivalry.  I believe in respecting everyone, including myself.  I believe in owning up to your faults.  I believe in freedom.  I believe in equality for everyone.  I believe that it is okay to have dessert before dinner sometimes.  I believe in champagne with breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I believe in paying it forward.  I believe in forgiveness.  I believe in living a life of love and lust and excitement, but in moderation.

I am afraid. I am afraid of water.  I am afraid of spiders.  I am afraid of failure.  I am afraid of death.  I am afraid of the wheel.  I am afraid of spending forever alone.  I am afraid of the unknown.

I am hopeful. I am hopeful that one day we will have world peace.  I am hopeful that I will finish college.  I am hopeful that one day I will find someone who completes me.  I am hopeful that my sister will have more opportunities and more people in life that push her to be successful than i do.  I am hopeful that one day I will get all that I need and want in life.

I am a lover and a fighter.  I am a dreamer and a believer.  I am afraid but I am hopeful.  I am strong yet I am weak.  I am bruised but still alive.  I am everything and nothing.  I am me…

…Simple as that.

Friday Facts About Me

6 Mar

I have decided that every Friday I will post three random facts about me.  Here are today’s thoughts.

  • I am terrified of water.
  • I like boys who like comic books.
  • I am not really a fan of chocolate candies, although I LOVE brownies.

Makin’ Babies.

20 Feb

Why is it that women are expected to WANT to have children?  Maybe I am crazy, and maybe I am the minority in this aspect, but I have absolutely zero desire to have babies.  And everybody thinks that it is absolutely crazy of me.  I can’t help it.  Is that so wrong to be a woman in the 21st century and not want children?

Personal Identity

19 Feb

I recently went through a bit of an identity crisis.  I had gone in to get a couple inches cut off my hair and have my layers trimmed, and I left with a total mullet.  I was horrified at the chop job that had been done, and the fact that the only way to fix it would be to cut my hair super short.  I cried for four hours, until I fell asleep with tears streaming down my face.  I went in the next day to my usual salon and had them fix my mess.  And although it looked alright, I still was having a hard time accepting the fact that my hair, the thing I loved most, was gone.  It was my identity.  And I wasn’t sure who I was.  But it was because of the wise words and encouragement of some of my amazing friends and followers on twitter that I realized I am more than my hair, and that my beauty comes from more than my hair.

This got me to thinking…

I based so much of my identity as a person on my hair.  Why do we do that?  If I lost my hair or my eyes or quit my job, how who would I be?  Where would I draw my identity from?  Who am I?  Who are you?

What do you draw your identity from?