Proper spelling and sentence structure, bacon, and probable reasons why I am single.

28 Apr

I not so secretly have a profile on OKCupid.  Why not?  I am single and ready to mingle, and it is a free and effortless way to meet new people.  I have met some awesome people who have turned into great friends thanks to OKCupid, but when it comes to date-worthy men, the results have definitely been lacking.  I suppose this is due to the fact that anybody, no matter how sleazy and cheap they are, can sign up.

Admittedly, my profile will make you think of me as either a) a tad bit funny and adorable or b) a pretentious bitch.
Example:
“I am really good at being fabulous. It is true. I will change your world.”
“I could go on and on, but sometimes I get the feeling that this summary thing is just like the flight instructions from the stewardess before takeoff- you are too busy being wrapped up in her good looks to pay much attention.”
“You should message me if:
–you know how to spell and use proper sentence structure
–you like bacon (if you do not, you probably should run)”

The amazing thing is how many messages I get from vegans who cannot spell to save their life.  Also amazing is the number of times I have gotten follow-up messages from men calling me a rude bitch because I will not meet or sleep with a man who cannot spell properly or form a proper sentence.

Oh, and per the vegan animal rights activist who asked me on a date… I am a bitch for turning down his offer for a date simply because he is an animal rights activist and I like bacon.  All along I was just trying to be respectful and let him know I need more meat in me than dating him could provide…

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