20 Aug

This week has been hard for me.
To say it has been a struggle would be an understatement.

In terms of pushing through it all, I would say I failed.  I called in sick to work two days in a row and stayed in bed because I just couldn’t get up.  I didn’t watch tv or read.  I just laid in bed.  All day long.

I hate feeling like this. I am so depressed and I am hurting so bad and I just can’t seem to get it out.  I cannot express it.  And when I can seem to find a way to push it out – to put it into words – there is no expression; no emotion.  I feel so blank.

I am afraid this is who I will become forever.


5 Responses to “Trapped”

  1. zenmistress August 20, 2010 at 11:28 pm #

    get yourself back to the doc for an RX review ASAP. You can’t just give up like this.

    I can’t relate because I was too much of a fighter during my struggles to entertain clinical depression. But not everyone is a fighter… and in such a case… therapy is needed to get to the bottom of the paralysis… You have to find that self-preservation “on” button somehow..

    • devilishdelish August 20, 2010 at 11:31 pm #

      the doc just redid my meds and i started taking new stuff/new doses today. we will see if it helps. i am just sick of it all.

  2. Livi August 21, 2010 at 5:50 pm #

    I hear you, I really do. Try to remember that this is not who you are, you are underneath it, still the same person you always were and once you shift that big cloud (or however you envision it) you’ll be back out into the sunlight again.

  3. Natasha August 27, 2010 at 5:57 am #

    *Hugs* xxx

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