I’m cashing in and checking out.

11 Jun

Escape.  Sometimes it feels so good.  These days I find my escape in working endless hours.  And it seems that by the time I get home, I want nothing to do with anybody.  Which is funny because at the same time I am beyond lonely.  But it makes sense.

You see, I have way too many “friendships” where I give and give and give and always initiate interaction.  And it gets hard.  I am sick of it.  I am sick of being there for people and not getting that in return.  I am sick of being there whenever somebody needs a friend, but in my darkest days I am left to suffer alone.

I don’t have the energy for it.

So here I am… this is me checking out.  To those people, I am cashing in what I have left and walking away.  If you need me, you know where to find me.  But until then, I hope you are well.

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”

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3 Responses to “I’m cashing in and checking out.”

  1. lewis June 11, 2010 at 10:40 pm #

    listen to this song:

    i may have recommended it a long time ago… but it seems to fit your (understandable) mood tonight. I used to listen to it all the time, meant a lot that someone else knew my angst 🙂

  2. Kate-Madonna June 12, 2010 at 12:52 pm #

    You’re loved. (Even when you think you’re too tough, or too unloveable- or too busy.) People genuinely care. We all need time off now and again.

    Let me know when you come back. (We’ll miss you.) 🙂

  3. melodee January 31, 2013 at 4:44 am #

    I happened to come across this message, when i felt exactly the same about those around me … and all i wanna do right now is just walk off to some hinterland … cant do that …

    i could also be over-reacting … i do know, that i have people around me who like me and are there for me… just that they dont really know what i want out of them …

    am gonna go on a mental vacation … the challenge is to be there … observe but not get involved … do but not get attached …

    well lets see how it goes

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