Impossible Love

22 Feb

It’s funny how loving somebody is something that you have no control over.  I realized today that I do love somebody, and that it is an impossible love.  He does not love me, and I know this.  I have come to terms with this.  But yet here I am, loving him.

How do I know that I love him?  Because after all this time, I still can’t get him out of my head.  After all the crap, I still get the nearly daily urge to call him and see how he is doing.  I still want to fix his struggles; to save him.  Because that is what you do when you love somebody… you want to save them.  You want to fix their problems and make them all better.

He chose to let his depression take the place of me.  He chose the bottle over me.  And I had to let him go, knowing that it would never work… that I would never get the attention and love and respect I needed.  It is still, to this day, one of the hardest things that I have ever done.

I want to save him, because thats what love makes you feel compelled to do.  But it is an impossible task, and at this moment, it is time that I walk away from all of it.  Maybe I will be a little more successful at that.


One Response to “Impossible Love”

  1. Steven Klassen February 28, 2010 at 8:34 pm #

    You write really well.

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