The difference between chivalry, being patronizing, and efforts to simply bag a woman.

2 Feb

What is chivalry, and is it dead?  That was how this all started.  I was trying to define chivalry… figure out what constitutes it in this modern age of feminism and independence.  But is that possible?

I look at my life and experiences in the world of dating and romance, as well as those of the people I know, and I find that it is extremely difficult-maybe impossible-to tell the difference between chivalry and simple efforts to get a woman in bed?

Some common actions that many would say are chivalrous are opening doors, pulling out a woman’s chair, opening the car door, helping a woman over/around puddles so her feet do not get wet, bringing her flowers, helping her into her jacket, walking her to her door, offering your jacket when she is cold, covering her with a blanket when she is cold/asleep, rubbing her shoulders when her neck or back aches.

But when do these things turn from simple respect to chivalry?  And how is a woman to know you are not simply trying to be patronizing?  How is she to know that you are doing it out of respect for her?  How is she to know that you are not simply trying to get her into bed?  Men can be quite good at doing the “romantic” things (opening doors, offering a jacket, bringing flowers, offering a massage) in an effort to nothing more than get a woman in the sack.  there are plenty of these trashy men out there.  (And plenty of trashy women who are fine with it… but that does nothing for us women looking for respect and romance.)

In this day and age, how do we sort it out?  How is a woman to tell the difference?

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