Archive | January, 2010

Valentine’s Day

22 Jan

I have been single on Valentine’s Day every year but one.  That year, I was so beyond sick that I fell asleep during dinner-dinner that my boyfriend had ordered out for us.

This year, I am debating a Valentine’s trip.  I am single, I am young, and I want to have fun.  There is no need to sit at home while everybody else is out and about.  So why not jump on a plane and get away from all the stress and drama in my life.  Why not have fun?

What I do not understand is why so many people think this is a bad idea… why so many people discourage me from going.  Am I not supposed to enjoy singleness as much as those in relationships enjoy that?

Whatever.  As Megan would say, I do what I want!


Lean On Me

14 Jan

We are now two weeks into the new year.  By this point, most people have done their evaluations of 2009, made (and broke) their new year’s resolutions, and moved on.  I, on the other hand, find it impossible to move on just yet.

2009 was the best of years and the worst of years for me.  There were struggles at the beginning, middle, and end.  In fact, it was the most difficult year of my life.  Many would wonder how I could consider the most difficult years of my life one of the best.  I guess it comes down to the fact that it is during your most difficult trials that you realize all that you really do have.  And 2009 was the year that I came to find all of the amazing people in my life.

It was in the simple words spoken and the thoughtful gestures, the phonecalls when I’m feeling complete broken, the long drives to save me when I need rescuing that I realized how much I truly am love, who my true friends are.

So thank you, first of all, to the friend who knew I was going through a tough spring and sent me a little “have fun” package including a restaurant gift card and one for blockbuster video.

Thank you to the person who sent me a picture of a birthday cake on my birthday because he knew the day had been horrendous and wanted to make me smile (and have a cake, because everyone deserves a birthday cake).

Thank you to the amazing friend who came and rescued me in Minneapolis when I called her at 4 AM because I was stuck in a horrible situation with a douchebag man and had no place to go.

Thank you to the people who take care of me and made sure I was safe when I would try to medicate my hurting heart with a trip to the bar.

Thank you to the person who helped bring back the joy of my childhood by giving me tickets to Disney on Ice for Christmas.  It was honestly one of the best gifts ever.

And last, but certainly not least, thank you to the person who gave me person who gave me the one of the most life-changing gifts ever.  Knowing that my family life has been very strained and that I was not looking forward to the holidays, this person helped make it possible for me to reconnect with my father and go visit him.  I hadn’t seen my father in years, and hadn’t had a real conversation with him in as long.  Thanks to this dear friend, I am now rekindling my relationship with my father, growing much closer to him.

I will be eternally grateful to all of these peoples, and will probably be looking for ways to repay them for years to come.

Keeping all of this in mind, I suggest that we all add to our list of resolutions to show our friends and family how much we appreciate them and be there when they need us the most.  I know that I will be.

Modern (Single) Girl’s Frustration

13 Jan

Here I am, 22, single, enjoying life.  In a world that puts so much focus on a woman’s supposed need for a man in her life, I find myself content with my independence.  I am happy that at this age, I have the opportunity to experience the world without being tied down.

I have spent the past couple of years enjoying all the the single life has to offer.  I have had more nights out with the girls than should be legal (we like to cause a ruckus), gone on blind dates, met potential suitors online.  I have had casual, fun dates.  I have had stuffy, uncomfortable ones as well.  I have met some great people and made many great friends.  In most cases, neither of us were in a spot where we were looking for something serious and long term.  In some cases, we just didn’t click.  But it was all mostly fun while it lasted.

The one thing that I find very frustrating, though, is that in this day and age, there are few boundaries.  It is commonplace to be propositioned for hook-ups and one night stands.  Some people feel it required to sleep together before a relationship is considered.  And although sex can be important in a relationship, I do not feel that it should be a measurement of my interest or whether I am dateable.  Is sex not supposed to be meaningful at all?

And why is there a double standard?  Some men want a woman to jump into bed with them right away, but after all is said and done and they move on, they look at her as a bit cheaper.  It makes no sense.

So I am saying it here and now:  If you ever want to take me out, do it with the understanding that you WILL NOT be getting me in bed right away.  Do so with the understanding that I will not sleep with you outside of a monogamous relationship.  (This means that if we are casual dating but are not exclusive or defined, I will not sleep with you.)  And do so with the knowledge and understanding that I will walk away the instant you start to push my boundaries and disrespect me.

I am a modern girl in a modern world, but I still have morals and standards, and I still demand respect.